2 down…

So, it was bound to happen sometime. In a weird way I am happy it happened now, before we are so cooped up inside that we can’t even open up a window to let all the germs out of the house.

So what am I talking about? The flu of course. It has now taken me down (a few weeks ago) and now River. Poor little guy is just so tired, coughing, and fever ridden. When he got bad on Friday, thankfully he was home with Grandma Sandy relaxing and playing, what a blessing it was to have her here for those few days! Since Friday, he has been pretty plastered in front of the TV and is interested in nothing that requires energy. Today, Sunday, he is getting much better. He is still tired, but much more active than he has been these last few days. It’s nice to see him run around again, but I stay very skeptical. We are going to stay home tomorrow and see how he does. I don’t want to spread this to any other unexpecting children and families!

On the adoption front, there has been some supposed communication out there with the government in Nepal- especially those working with adoptions. The news says that things are still moving even with the political disruptions. This is great, but we have not seen or heard any proof of this. On my yahoo group, people are still waiting for travel approvals and referrals. We as a group seem to have been trying to compile numbers as well, and the thought is that there were around 450 files (dossiers) received by the government of Nepal, 150 +/- of them are  referrals- around 75 of those have been sent out and somewhere around 40 are pending signature to then be sent out to families. Out of these 150, 21 (or so) are now with their children. So although I remain reluctant, I DO think things are going to start again soon. I guess I just have to keep my mind and heart in a positive place.

Along with that, this weekend I was able to attend another Diwali festival at St. Olaf. Subhash, (the senior who has started the Sarswati foundation) was the MC and bought me a ticket. I had no idea that it would be such a treat! There was awesome Indian food, along with Bollywood dancing, a fashion show and music. Being there reminded me of all the festivals we will be celebrating with our daughter someday. I can’t wait to teach her all about these festivals that are such a fun part of who she is!

A little bit of halloween while we wait

Well, as we take in the little bit of news that we receive everyday, we live our everyday lives just as normal as we can. The Maoist uprisings have begun in Nepal, and thankfully all is peaceful thus far. So, I’ve been trying to keep myself occupied with other fun things at home. Yesterday, celebrating one of my favorite holidays, was a total treat. We met some friends at a close by apple orchard where the kids got to run around and play a little bit in the cold. They had a grand old-time despite the weather, and the parents enjoyed each other’s company while watching the kids play.

After the apple orchard we went to another friends house for some food, drink and finally some trick or treating. After stuffing ourselves with food we went out to go get some more with all of the kiddo’s. All in all we had a snow-white (not me, so I guess that’s 2 snow whites!) dopey (river) a dinosaur, and a witch. It was so much fun. We trick or treated in our neighborhood (since our friends, Paula and Brian only live a couple of doors down) and it was great. We were out for at least an hour, and then came back and hung out for quite a while longer. We figured that since it was daylight savings time we could try to keep the kids up as long as possible, and come around 10:30-11, the kids were outlasting the parents. So we brought our tired selves home and crashed. It was a wonderful, exciting Halloween with our adorable, dopey 2-year-old!

Choices

We chose this.

It has always been our dream to adopt. Adopting, thankfully, was our choice. Our agency, Crossroads was one of many agencies out there. That, was another choice. Beginning our adoption process when River was 1, in the summer of 2008, that was another choice. Finally, adopting from Nepal, because of the perfect timing, and because it was one of the options from our agency, we chose Nepal. And as I said earlier, Nepal was a choice we happily, consciously, made. We feel a connection, a love for such a beautiful (both physical and cultural) country. We felt that these choices were leading us to our daughter, To River’s sister, and to one of the most wonderful people we will have ever met.

Now, I’m not saying right now that we made a bad choice. We didn’t. Hopefully, all those choices we have made WILL lead us down that path that I just described. But, because of those choices, we are sooooo invested in this country, and the well-being of the people, the land and the government. And now, unfortunately,  things aren’t going so well.

Here is another blogger’s posting. She explains it well.

So, what now.

Well, nothing is set in stone. No one truly knows the outcome of this current turmoil, and all that is going to come with it. Hopefully, for the people’s sake, it is all settled peacefully. The people of Nepal have been though so much in these past 15 years, I hope and pray that there is only peace in the future. I hope this can be settled, and be settled now.

As for us: we sit, and we wait. This afternoon, I cried. I have been so very hopeful lately about this adoption. I felt that is was going to happen sometime in the next few months. Now, I don’t feel that way. I feel sad. I don’t want to be a pessimist, but things just don’t look up. The poor country is supposedly in turmoil, and I, along with so many other waiting parents, can do nothing to help the people and children who have to experience such hardships every day. We can just sit, and wait.

We chose this. And, although I am struggling so much, I wouldn’t have made a different choice.

So, to finish off this post, I am going to end with a song I was listening to as I was working out today. I was at St. Olaf running around the track, and almost broke down. (I’m glad I wasn’t on the treadmill) After listening to the song about 2-3 times, I came up with the title of this post. You think the 2 might not go together so well, but to me, they go perfectly.

“Supposed To Be”
Maybe it’s up with the stars
Maybe it’s under the sea
Maybe it’s not very far
Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be
This is how it’s supposed to be
Maybe it’s trapped in a jar
Something we’ve already seen
Maybe it’s nowhere at all
Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be
This is how it’s supposed to be
Looking forward as we rewind
Looking back is a trap sometimes
Being here is so easy to do
If you want to…

-Jack Johnson

What about River?

So, there has been lots of talk about our adoption lately and very little about the precious little boy who is in my arms everyday. So, I am dedicating this post to my Riv-baby, who is now much more of a Riv-toddler-boy.

*River is very verbal! He always wakes up talking with himself or us. Although he doesn’t have every word figured out, he is really getting there!

*River’s schedule is lining up with ours, which is no fun on the weekends! This, I think, says that he is an adaptable kid. Let’s hope next summer (and the many afterwards) he adapts back to getting up late!

* River LOVES being with friends. He feeds off of his peer’s energy.

*He will repeat anything a “big kid” will do. It’s fun to watch him at the park when older kids come around. He sometimes follows them and does what they do. This can be good and bad!

*He is also unfortunately obsessed with TV. Kyle and I do our best to let him watch no more than one short tv show a day. We are pretty good at that, but many times it ends up in a temper tantrum if he thinks differently. At this point (thanks to tivo) he only watches 4 different shows- Curious George, Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer and Thomas the train. It seems to work well. His favorite is usually Thomas, but Dora sometimes ends up on the top. He also adores movies. We usually just try to bring those out on the weekends.

*He seems to be over his ball obsession. Things have transferred to Thomas, but he is even easing up on that a little. I guess he is learning his “balance”.

*River is a king at singing the ABC’s! (the “L,M,N,O,P part needs some work, though) It’s his favorite song to sing. Another fav of his is counting. I love watching someone LOVE to learn! I wish I could transfer some of that excitement to my 8th graders.

*If Riv does throw a little tantrum when it comes to TV- our trick is to go read him a book. He loves books and could read them all day. (or, just make us read them). It’s a good trade off.

*Riv still doesn’t want to play alone. He likes company, a very social boy. Interaction seems to be a key to keeping him happy.

Hmmm… that’s all I can think of for now. I will make sure to put other exciting things in as we experience them. It seems as if he is doing something cute, new and/or fun everyday. I love it.

And to end this post I am going to quote a Laughery/Eckis family favorite movie – “What about Bob?” (Hence the title of this post). Now although I have been very positive about the whole adoption thing in Nepal these past couple of months, I think this is the week that is going to be the most telling. All of the festivals are over, and by the end of last week people were supposedly going back to work. So, since Nepal has around 300 more adoptions to process before the next large batch of dossier’s arrive in the country (new referrals can get sent in Jan. 2010 since the country is only letting 10 dossiers per agency, per year) if there are not more referrals/travel approvals this week I am going to start to get worried again…

So I just need to remember the famous words said by Bill Murray in our favorite movie… “Baby steps, (erin) baby steps…”

Old Pictures from Nepal

I have gone through a couple of old photographs and scanned a few from Nepal. I thought some of you out there might enjoy them, and see a slice of what we hopefully will experience in the near future!

On my trek in Kathmandu Valley

My friend Amy at a Buddhist nun monestary

The monestary, just outside of Kathmandu

The Sherpa's on our trek

Our own Northfield restaurant!

A Special Tihar

Ready for the candle race!

So, because this is a special holiday in Nepal, and hopefully in the next year or so we will have our beautiful daughter in our arms, we decided to have a impromptu get together to celebrate Tihar, or Diwlai as it is called in India.

It was so much fun! We had a BUNCH of friends and kids over to celebrate this fun and exciting festival tonight. We had some yummy food from our local Indian restaurant as well as good conversation, pumpkin painting for the kids, and then we finished off the night with an exciting game that I played when I was in India 10 years ago during Diwali. It’s a silly game, and very simple, but all you need to do is take a candle and have a little race, and key is NOT let the candle go out! It was a quick game since our awesome winner was REALLY fast, but it seemed that everyone had a fun and exhilarating time.

So, hopefully in a year’s time, we will be able to celebrate this festival with our beautiful little girl, and this picture of the 3 of us (below) will be a picture of 4.

Impressed

Last night Kyle and I went to a speech done by a senior at St. Olaf College, Subhash Ghimire. He is native Nepalese and through his dedication towards his country, created a summer camp for  children in his village as well as established a library. About a year ago right now he came up with the idea and and wrote a grant so he fund this. He was awarded a $10,000 grant to make this happen, and boy, were we impressed.

As the presentation went on it made my heart ache to meet my daughter. It also reminded me how much good we can do in this world if we want. Subhash said many times as he was one of the very few people to make it outside of his village (a two day walk from the nearest road) so there was much that was expected of him. I think this amazing senior has so far lived up to this expectation. After he returned this summer from working with these kids and giving them a summer’s worth of education and 100’s of books, he decided that to do more he needed to begin a foundation and set his sights high for all that can be accomplished. So, he created the Sarswati Foundation. I truly believe that this foundation will do some amazing things in the country of Nepal. Since the founder has a wonderful connection with the country, and also has had the initiative to make something happen (while he is in school no less!) I see this foundation as doing a lot of good in the world. So since I was (obviously) so impressed, I spoke to him and offered up my time and energy to get things going if he needed it. I hope he takes me up on it.

So other than that, the Nepal adoption front is very quiet. That’s ok, since right now it is their holiday time. I guess that whole of Nepal takes off for about a month and a half while they have their most important holidays of the year, one which I celebrated when I was in India 10 years ago today. (Diwali- although I believe the Nepalese have a different name for it). Rumor has it that the Ministry will go back to work around October 21, so hopefully next week I will hear of more matches and people traveling over to Nepal to pick up their children.

Wow- 10 years ago. I don’t think I would have ever guessed when I was in Nepal 10 years ago that this is where I would be today. It’s amazing how life flies, and how so many amazing things can happen in that time. So I wonder, 10 years from now, River will be 12, my daughter will be ??? and will there be another? Will we still be here in Northfield? Where will I be working? Life is sure a roller coaster. I love it!!!

Something to ponder

As I lay here on the couch on my 3rd sick day this week, I ponder all my blessings that I have been given. I know, sounds cheesy, but seriously it’s nice to think of all the amazing things life gives you when feel like crud. So, here it goes.

-My health (ok, crazy thing to think of this week) but honestly, I am so happy that I do so well with all the crazy things that life throws at me. Also, to add to this, River and Kyle’s health (and all my other family and friends- thinking of you too today Debbie!) I am so lucky to have all of you here to support me!

-My job. Although conferences yesterday was a tough one, I am so lucky to have such a great school to work at. People there have been so wonderful to me these past 9 years. 9 years… really???

-My wealth of experiences. I feel like I have been given this pot of gold every time I find out that I get to try something new. Whether it be traveling, camping, or even just a new veggie that kyle cooked up in our garden. I feel like I always have a rainbow that I can pull out of my pocket if I want.

-Friends! I could not survive here in Minnesota without all my dear friends! Even when they tell me to get out of their faces and stay home from work because I am sick. All of you make my life so rewarding because you are in it. Thanks.

-Family. Kyle and River have been the best rocks a girl can have. They both keep me grounded and smiling, even when I’m laying down. My parents are more the butterfly’s at this point, keeping me going with their amazing adventure stories as they’re traveling down the road they call “retirement”- which I’m not completly buying. (More like the “Let’s go play!” road I think!)

- And finally, some people might not call this a blessing, but I have to say that one of my blessings (and many others) is just not knowing. I never seem to have a perfect answer for things, and many times if I think I do, I soon find out how wrong I am. I like to guess, to be surprised and to find that $20 left in my pocket from last spring. Although it can be frustrating at times, once that 20 bucks is found it can feel like 1000 if found at the right time.

So with that, I am going to post a short video I found on the jcics website- one that made me cry, and reminded me how that 20 bucks can turn into a million…

Preparation

Now, although we are still far down the list for adoptions in Nepal, it IS moving and people seem to constantly be traveling and getting referrals for their children. To be exact we are technically #270 of around 350-400 people waiting to adopt. Now in the end, this number means very little because people in front and behind us are requesting many different types of children, some older, some male, etc. We are pretty specific since we are only asking for an infant girl (well, we can only adopt a girl from Nepal since we already have River- you can only adopt an opposite gender child if you already have a child). At this point, I know they are trying to get the older children adopted first which I believe is a great idea, but hopefully soon  there will be more infants going out, so then we will get a little bit closer to our time.

So while preparing for this child I am thinking ahead to when we go to Kathmandu to finally meet her and see the place that she has been living for the first part of her life. While looking at websites talking about Nepal and their children, my mind has been thinking about what I can do for these kids that might not get a family to go home to. I know I will feel so much sadness for the children we will leave behind and hope I can leave them with something to help them in life. So while pondering this I contacted my agency to ask them what they think I can do, and how I can contribute to the children of Nepal once I arrive, and then leave. Their answer was pretty simple, but one that is hard for many in these harsh economic times- money. Their suggestion was to bring some money, and once we arrive in Nepal, find out what is needed from the orphanage where our daughter is at, and then use the money to help buy necessities- books, clothes, etc. when in country. So not only will these children benefit from these basic gifts, but the Nepalese economy will too.

So, although our time to meet our daughter may be many, many months away (hopefully not:) I am soon going to talk with my bank and see if there is a way to set up a fund where people, if they like, can contribute towards helping the orphanage and the people of Nepal.

Keep posted- I will give the information soon! Thank you for considering helping these children!

Shanti.

Why Nepal?

Ahhh, the second most asked question very close behind “why adopt?”

Well, at the time when we began speaking with our agency about international adoptions (around August, 2008) there were only a few different countries open to us (at least through our agency). China was the country we were initially drawn to. This was the case for a couple of different reasons. That summer I had spent a couple of weeks in China exploring for a class through the University of St. Thomas. I loved being there again (I was last there on my global semester through St. Olaf) and was amazed by the change in the country. We then did some research on China and realized that the country seems to be needing their girls in the future (because so many of them are being adopted out, the population numbers between females and males are getting skewed). So knowing that, we began to look at other countries in Asia. No real good reason for the Asia thing, that was just the continent which we were drawn to.

So we looked at our other options. In August, Nepal was not even open yet, but our agency put it into our heads that if we were the adventurous type (which I like to think of myself as an adventurous soul) that Nepal might be the place for us. Now for a while we were very skeptical because before Nepal closed in 2007, it only allowed couples to adopt who were infertile. So since we were in no rush we decided to wait and find out if Nepal would change that rule (and our agency said they thought it might change when they opened back up) and low and behold when the new rules came out (somewhere around the time they opened up in January of this year), we were legal to adopt in Nepal.

Other countries interested us (Philipines, Vietnam, etc.) but we really felt a connection with Nepal. I have gone to Nepal in 1999 on that same Global semester I mentioned before, and absolutely loved it when I was there. The mountains are incredible, and the people were so kind and welcoming. I will never forget my first evening on a trek around the Kathmandu Valley when we stayed in the backyard of a Buddhist nun monastery. We fell asleep to the most peaceful chanting, and then woke up to the same beautiful sound. I will never forget that night, and the many nights after when I was taken through some of the most beautiful landscape I have ever imagined.

I think I may have appreciated that landscape somewhat more than others. Growing up in Boulder, Colorado I had mountains surrounding me at all times (well, at least to my west:) and I feel as if they are a part of my soul. Being in Nepal gave me a sense of home, which at that point in my travels, was incredibly refreshing. Since Kyle and I are both Coloradans, we feel like we have a connection with the country of Nepal. I not only feel a connection with the landscape, but also the culture and people give me a sense of comfort. It is a country that really rings true with who I am, and Kyle is so excited to go and experience everything I have told him about. We both can’t wait to someday teach our Nepalese daughter about her amazing country, and show her all its beauty.

There are so many reasons “why Nepal”, but the best one that I can give you right now is that Nepal is where my daughter is, and hopefully soon I will get the call telling me that it is time to go and meet her.

Shanti.