I knew it had to come to a close someday, and that day sadly came yesterday.
I NEVER thought I would be this sad over getting my body back, but here I am wondering if I had made the right decision on doing it this week, that day, that morning.
We had been on the “once a day” thing for the last couple of weeks. I stopped being able to let down easily in the afternoon so River kept getting angry every time I put him to the breast at that time. In the early morning was great though, he and I being both half asleep he could suckle until I finally give him the nourishment that he needs and we would have special cuddle time in the wee hours. I loved that time.
So yesterday morning came along and it was so wonderful. It look awhile for me to let down but River didn’t mind so we had a long time to cuddle. He ate both sides fully and then went back to sleep in my arms- it was perfect. Just like I want to remember it.
So with that I made the decision to stop. It had to come soon because I am going to China in less than a month and Colorado in a week and a half (and I’d rather not lug around more “milk” weight during the Boulder Bolder) so I knew it had to be soon. I’m going to miss it more than I ever imagined, but am forever grateful for all the wonders that my body created- a baby and all of his food for such a long time. 10 1/2 months- I can live with that.
So this morning I woke River up and gave him a bottle of formula. Funny that with nursing he is so comfortable that be basically sleeps the whole way through. But today when he was done with the bottle he was awake and wanting to play. Humph. So I guess that our early morning sessions of cuddling are done – nursing being the source of relaxation and closeness. We will find other cuddly times I’m sure of it, but I’ll never forget that bond we have because of this time we had together.
Love ya babe- thanks for being such a patient, loving and amazing baby. I’m so lucky.