We chose this.

It has always been our dream to adopt. Adopting, thankfully, was our choice. Our agency, Crossroads was one of many agencies out there. That, was another choice. Beginning our adoption process when River was 1, in the summer of 2008, that was another choice. Finally, adopting from Nepal, because of the perfect timing, and because it was one of the options from our agency, we chose Nepal. And as I said earlier, Nepal was a choice we happily, consciously, made. We feel a connection, a love for such a beautiful (both physical and cultural) country. We felt that these choices were leading us to our daughter, To River’s sister, and to one of the most wonderful people we will have ever met.

Now, I’m not saying right now that we made a bad choice. We didn’t. Hopefully, all those choices we have made WILL lead us down that path that I just described. But, because of those choices, we are sooooo invested in this country, and the well-being of the people, the land and the government. And now, unfortunately,  things aren’t going so well.

Here is another blogger’s posting. She explains it well.

So, what now.

Well, nothing is set in stone. No one truly knows the outcome of this current turmoil, and all that is going to come with it. Hopefully, for the people’s sake, it is all settled peacefully. The people of Nepal have been though so much in these past 15 years, I hope and pray that there is only peace in the future. I hope this can be settled, and be settled now.

As for us: we sit, and we wait. This afternoon, I cried. I have been so very hopeful lately about this adoption. I felt that is was going to happen sometime in the next few months. Now, I don’t feel that way. I feel sad. I don’t want to be a pessimist, but things just don’t look up. The poor country is supposedly in turmoil, and I, along with so many other waiting parents, can do nothing to help the people and children who have to experience such hardships every day. We can just sit, and wait.

We chose this. And, although I am struggling so much, I wouldn’t have made a different choice.

So, to finish off this post, I am going to end with a song I was listening to as I was working out today. I was at St. Olaf running around the track, and almost broke down. (I’m glad I wasn’t on the treadmill) After listening to the song about 2-3 times, I came up with the title of this post. You think the 2 might not go together so well, but to me, they go perfectly.

“Supposed To Be”
Maybe it’s up with the stars
Maybe it’s under the sea
Maybe it’s not very far
Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be
This is how it’s supposed to be
Maybe it’s trapped in a jar
Something we’ve already seen
Maybe it’s nowhere at all
Maybe this is how it’s supposed to be
This is how it’s supposed to be
Looking forward as we rewind
Looking back is a trap sometimes
Being here is so easy to do
If you want to…

-Jack Johnson


2 thoughts on “Choices

  1. {{HUGS}} We’re still hoping and waiting with you. I admire your resolve and commitment to your yet unknown daughter. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s