I ache…

Holiday times are full of cheer.

Well, most of the time.

This holiday season has been one of wonder for me and my dear family. Kyle, River and I have been able to travel to California and visit (in my opinion) one of the most magical places on earth. We got to see “It’s a small world” decked out in all of its holiday cheer. We are now lucky to see some wonderful, soft, white snow, and finally, the other night we were able to go get a yummy-smelling Christmas tree . Last night river and I colored it up along with the rest of the house. Although we missed kyle since he was working, we did lots of dancing and singing of holiday songs as we decorated. It was magical.

But, even with such a fun night last night, and special holiday season behind and in front of us, I ache. I ache for my little girl, her eyes, her toes, her voice, her dancing legs. I ache for her hugs and kisses, and need for me to read her just another book. I ache for her love, her smile and her joy. I ache for her.

More immediatly, I ache for news. For just one sliver of information, or just one family to go over and pick up their child in Nepal so I can see that there is some progress. I know these things should take time, I respect that. But I just wish I could hear of one little child becoming a part of their adopted family, and therefore one less orphan in the world. I want to see that in the somewhat near future my daughter will be in my arms, and River will have a little sister to play with. I want to see the two of them take down the ornaments from the christmas tree and spread them all over the house just like he did last night. I want him to show her how to ride his bike and put a napkin in the garbage. I want him to teach her how to say “maybe later” instead of “no”. I want to see my children grow up together.

So, I will now go back to the thankful part. I have one AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, FUN-LOVING, JOYFUL, and SPIRITED little boy. So, although I ache, I also love endlessly, and am thankful for my loving husband and wonderful child who are here in my life right now.


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