The statement above came right out of a 2-year-old’s mouth. MY 2-year-old’s mouth.
And now, I feel like crap.
I knew this day would come. Well, at least I hoped it wouldn’t, but knew that since I am gone so often at work, school, and my various other engagements, meetings, etc, it would come. But no matter how much I expected something like that to come out of my sweet boy’s mouth, I hated it the moment it did.
The story is this. River got sent home wednesday from daycare with a fever of 102. Kyle had work that night and was planning on just bringing him with since I had class up in Minneapolis. Even with the fever, Kyle took him because he had no choice since I was an hour away. Although he was tired, River did fine with a dvd player and a pillow. He went home and I still wasn’t there , so I couldn’t tuck him into bed.
Then yesterday Kyle stayed home with him. I typically do this but Kyle was able to make it work so I didn’t argue. I went home right when school ended so that kyle, river and I could make it up to a meeting that we had with Crossroads, our adoption agency. When I saw River you could say he seemed a little “miffed” with me. Standoffish, wanting dada, etc. He is not typically like this, so it made me sad, but at that moment we had to move and get in the car to make the meeting. So along we went and got settled into the car for the drive up.
On the way up to the cities, I tried to talk with River and see how his day went with dada at home. He wasn’t giving me much until a point when I turned around and said that I missed him very much the last few days. He then looks at me and under his breath said those dreaded words, “Momma loves work”. He said this right after I told him that I missed him the last few days! I couldn’t believe it, I almost broke down and cried.
For the next 5 minutes I groveled and told him that I loved him SO much more than work and that I’ll try and be a better mommy. But, no matter what, that statement is going to stick with me for quite awhile.
Someday River, when you’re much older, and you’re reading these thoughts of your mothers, I just want you to know that although I am a busy woman, the main thing that is driving me to be a better person is you. You are my light, and your love keeps me going every second of every day.
I love YOU. Way more than work. 🙂