Destiny– “the predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.” (taken from dictionary. com)
I’ve never (at least in my adult life) been one for destiny. Although it’s kind of nice to think that everything is laid out for us and we can’t technically make a bad decision, I also think destiny is an easy way out. I know many of you out there would disagree with me, and that’s perfectly okay. Many of the people who I love believe that God has created things in our lives that are most certainly going to happen. As for me, I think God gave us free-will and has left the rest to us. Thinking this way keeps me responsible for my actions, even when I don’t really like the actions that I take. It also reminds me that my life is my choice, and I can change its course if I choose to.
So what does all this mean, and where the heck am I going with this? Well, I’ve been thinking about destiny a lot recently, and have even talked about it with some of my friends. I think about River, and all the choices that I made leading up to his birth. My relationship with Kyle, then our marriage, and our “selfish years” and finally our 6 month “chore” of getting pregnant. 🙂 Is River and all those choices a part of my ‘destiny’? I know I would love any child that I have, but what if it wasn’t him? I can’t imagine life any different and am thrilled to have him as my amazing little boy. But what if ….
Well, you see where I’m going with this (okay, maybe not) but I feel like we are at a crossroads in our ‘destiny’, or choice-making. There have been feelings that I have had that feel somewhat ‘predetermined’ and are kinda bugging me. Following those thoughts and actions seems to be the right way to go, so at this point that is what I am going to do. The amazing thing is that all those feelings can change in a heartbeat depending on certain events. (I think). So making somewhat large decisions is quite scary to me, and I’m doing my best to follow my heart AND my head to make the most informed choice that feels right. I still do believe that all of life is a choice though, and it’s up to me to make the best of it.
Life, always taking you for a ride.
So as for specifics on Nepal (since the last few paragraphs were very vague) referrals started up again. Great news, but many of us are wondering when the travel approvals are going to come out for those who got referrals in September. See, referrals are great, but if you are never able to get your kid, they’re useless. I think the country of Nepal is working their booties off to get these things done, I just hope those TA’s get out soon.
In other news the US State department has not closed down adoptions from Nepal, but has issued a very strong statement to adopting parents such as myself. It was hard for me to read, but I am thankful that everything is being done to protect the child, which is the only reason I am doing this whole adoption thing anyway.
The link is here: http://adoption.state.gov/news/nepal.html
In funny news, Kyle got his beard shaved off yesterday (finally) during a dance performance at St. Olaf. It was all pre-planned and quite funny. The audience got to pick how he would get shaved. When it was all done it was pretty horrifying, and I was thankful that he took the rest off when he got home. River got a kick out of him being on stage and clapped when it was done. On the way home he even said that “Dada’s face is all clean now”. I guess we’re a “no-beard fan club”, River and I. Well, that is for now we are. I guess that can change anytime though, can’t it?
So finally, here are some pictures of the ‘incident’:
On stage, after the voting took place:
The result up close, yikes!
Then he came home and decided to have some fun:
And now, although there is no final picture, it’s ALL GONE. 🙂