reality check


Although I like hearing that things are moving, this whole emotional roller-coaster thing causes quite the stir in my mind, body and soul.

What I am talking about happened today during my prep at school. After our daily team meeting with teachers, I noticed that an email was sent to me from our family coordinator from Crossroads who is now working on our domestic adoption. The said that a baby was born in another state and they wanted our permission to show them our profile.

My heart skipped a beat.

Well, after calling them back I was informed that the birthmother decided to keep the baby (girl) so she was not going to be given up for adoption. I was informed of the circumstances and was (although happy that the mother feels like she can raise the baby, since she is her own!) still sad that we won’t have that opportunity. Now I KNOW that we will someday soon get an opportunity, but it was quite the moment when I thought that someday might be TOday.

So, after that little scenario, I had a slight melt down internally thinking that this really could be any day. Like, really, that baby was born yesterday, and if the mother decided to give her up for adoption and then picked us out of the pile of profiles, we could have had a newborn in LESS THAN A WEEK FROM NOW.

oh. my. gosh.

How amazing would that be? And how scary at the same time?

For those of you who know me know I am very laid back, but boy. That would be a beautiful, wonderful, insane jolt to my body, mind and soul.

Then, after that, I learned that Rwanda is handing out their first government approvals since the very beginning of this year. I am THRILLED for the families getting their approvals, and would love to see ours in the next few months. Now, seeing this actually, truly happening, I believe that it is a possibility that we could see ours in the “not so incredibly distant” future.

So supposedly, Rwanda has gone through 10 or more dossiers, and plan on doing {somewhere} around 10 a week.  We got an update on our number, which is,

so that’s a few months, right?


Well, this day is most likely an anomaly, but it has given me a good dose of reality.

and I’m happy to finally see it. 🙂


3 thoughts on “reality check

  1. Hi Erin,
    It is great to hear that you are “hearing” things, but what just happened to you is heart wrenching. I am so sorry you have to go through that, but eventually it will lead you to your little one! It is great to have a number for Rwanda too! I love following along on your journey! –Shelly

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