This title seems quite fitting at the moment.
With all the endings that seem to be happening around me, I’ve been reminded of the “Circle of Life” that Lion King taught me so many years ago. (Ok- it’s probably taught in many different, more important places, but it’s the Lion King that I remember best). It’s been a very strange year, one full of roller coaster emotions. I just hope that I have learned a few lessons in the process.
To begin, last weekend I went back to New York for my Grandma Pat’s funeral. It was quite surreal. Never having a grandparent or parent die in my 33 years of life has given me a sort “rose colored glasses” way of looking at the world. I like to think of myself as a person who can see the world in that positive way (for example my love of Disney and all that it’s magic represents), and I don’t think that is going to totally disappear. But, I have to admit, a little of the “rose” has gone. A little bit of me is gone with my Grandma.
I guess I should think that instead a little of her has become more a part of me. I don’t take her life for granted anymore, not that I ever should have.
It was a wonderful weekend with family and friends celebrating a life worth celebrating. Grandma would have been proud of all that took place during both the wake and the funeral. It was simple and classy. Just like her.
I met a lot of family that I wish I knew better. I enjoyed time thinking about my Grams and being with my Grandpa. It was a time in my life I will never forget.
Another ending that has taken place in the last couple days is the end of the school year. Now although I am rejoicing for my new found freedom, I am mourning for those coworkers whom I am not going to see at CMS again. There were so many layoffs in my district this year, that there were teachers that were asked to leave that have been in the district for as long as I have, and some even longer. Today we said goodbye to some of the most amazing teachers I know. (And I am not exaggerating here.) I hope that someday soon people will realize that even in hard economic times educating our children is something that we should vote for, even if difficult. In my opinion our district is truly not doing what is best for kids… not that they don’t want to, but because the community decided not to support the educational system. It was a sad day.
But with change comes new opportunities. Some easy, some hard. My Grandpa will miss having my Grandma around every day to banter back and forth with, but will still love her as much as ever even with her gone. He, along with the rest of us, will hopefully figure out our “new normal” with Grandma not there to talk to whenever we chose. Maybe this will create new relationships, maybe this will encourage those of us who were crappy at calling before to become more aware of the need to stay in touch. Maybe the loss of Grandma will give us a new perspective on life. I sure hope so.
Along the same lines I hope all my wonderful coworkers find fantastic jobs. Although they will be beyond missed at our CMS home, hopefully we can take what we have learned from those dear souls that roamed the halls and pay it forward to those new staff members and students joining us in the future.
Endings are hard. All these positive words I am writing to you are honestly not for you, but for myself. I am loosing so much right now, but am hoping to learn from this loss.
As for new beginnings, we celebrated Autumn’s baptism this weekend. With the loss of one, very special life, came a new, very special life with Autumn. I know Grandma was with us at her baptism, and I am sure she was thrilled. It was a beautiful time with family (Many came to be with us on this special weekend!) and also friends came to support Autumn and all of us.
We are so blessed to have such amazing people in our lives.
Thank you all for your support, through all these tragedies and celebrations, I feel so lucky to be a part of a world with friends and family like you.