tired, yet blessed

I’m exhausted.

The other day Kyle looked at me and asked what was wrong. I answered that I was tired. He stopped, looked at me again, and said “No really Erin, what’s wrong?” At that moment I pretty much lost it. I’m not tired, I’m exhausted. I started spurting off how things were just rough right now. I went on by saying that my job is hard at this moment, like really hard. It’s not just me, but everyone at school is struggling. Thankfully, my students don’t seem to be feeling the same level of stress that we teachers and staff are. Well, kinda thankful for that cause now the community thinks that we can keep doing what we’re doing with even less… which will make it so we never pass a levy again. I don’t want the kids to suffer…. at all. But man, if this keeps going like it is, I don’t know how to shelter my students from the hardships. If only the public thought public education was worth funding right now… because it is.

And a side note- one of my friends went into the corporate sector last year after getting cut as a PE teacher. She is getting such a kick out of how now she has so little to do. Not to say that all of those in the corporate sector have it so kushy, but she just can’t believe how much time she gets to get things done. See, in the teaching world it’s minute to minute, wing it if you need to. And if you don’t have a plan ready, and you suck at winging it, you are, well, sh.. out of luck. We here in the teaching world are ON. No extra time when you have 35 8th graders walking in your door in 5 minutes. It’s now or never.

I thought her perspective was an interesting one.

Anyway, that gives you a little insight into why I am exhausted. But the funny thing is, even though work is kicking me in the arse, I am cherishing my time with my kiddos more than ever. I think about the Riv-man and little Autumn and my heart wants to burst. Even with the “non-stop-life” I live when they are surrounding me, all I want to do is just cuddle them. Like, all. the. time.

River seems to have matured in the past months. I don’t know what it is. Maybe the conversations we have (which are a lot,  except right after school when- no matter the topic- he just “doesn’t want to talk about it”) or maybe the games he is creating (recently, he created a “taxi” game in which there are “no bad guys” and “everyone’s super heroes” that go and rescue people with “huggies and lovies”). Seriously, how can you not love a kid that makes up games like that? He is even getting consistent “happy faces” on his daily report. This was not happening earlier, so to me, this is so refreshing, and wonderful.

He is, however, finding out what it means to have a sister who crawls over to take his stuff. It’s cute, but River doesn’t always seem to think so. See, yesterday (we officially deemed it yesterday, even though it was weeks in the making) that Autumn started crawling. Yep, she’s off, and now I actually have to make sure she is not getting into that dog food she loves so dearly. She is a determined one though, so although she is not fast now, once she starts to book it I am really in trouble. Well, she is a cute one no matter how her breath smells after whatever it was that she ate off the floor.

So anyway, I am tired (wait, no, exhausted) and although my kids don’t sleep till 10 like I wish they did (they sleep till around 7 so I can’t complain too much) they are keeping my spirits high in this time of a difficult adjustment at work.

It sure is nice being a mom.

*Picture taken by our friend and photographer, Ali Hohn…. boy is she good!

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3 thoughts on “tired, yet blessed

  1. i wish i could actually bottle up some energy to send to you–i keep hearing about your district in the news, and have no fond recollections of those struggles–it sounds like you are doing just what you need to, i.e. focusing on the kids–first your own, and then those at school…i can’t wait to autumn crawl!!
    love and energy from minneapolis!

    1. As I was reading this i thought you were taking the words right out of my mouth. And just when I feel like I might be the only one feeling this way someone lets me know that I am not the only one. Thanks for putting my thoughts out there. You are a great teacher and mom.

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