I guess after writing my dissertation I’ve wanted a true and utter break from writing. Or, most likely, I’ve become quite the lazy person.
I think it’s the latter.
I mean, my kids are now at an age where I can SLEEP IN. On weekend mornings, (and now summer mornings) they get up (River can not get up before 7:30- and Autumn usually doesn’t get up before then) and they head downstairs and watch some good ol’ Netflix. Kyle and I usually saunter downstairs around 8ish and slowly get the morning going.
Also, I take the kids to the beautiful Northfield pool on these lazy summer days and more often than not I just sit there while my kids play together or with other kids. I chat with friends and watch from the sidelines as my kids exhaust themselves- and I do nothing.
Running has been non-existent. But I have been enjoying yoga these last few weeks since school’s been out. Not sure where that puts me on the lazy scale.
But friends, this laziness is about to end, but that is for a later post.
A few months ago soon after Nana passed away my family got together in Hawaii to get a reprieve from the Minnesota crazy cold. Yes, we were on the way “up” when it came to temperature, but after this winter we could not get enough of a break. We enjoyed the sun and the time together to think about how blessed we are. I truly love being there with my family because we are good at JUST BEING TOGETHER.
How awesome is that?!
The end of the school year was crazy- but great. I truly love my students and my coworkers. There were days where I went home so emotionally drained. More than any day when I worked in the middle school. My high school kids have much more “real” problems- more adult problems. But being there for them was so fulfilling. Watching them learn was such a joy, and seeing them smile made my day. I feel so blessed to work in this school with these kids and staff in this amazing community. I love Northfield, I think I may just stay for awhile. 🙂
But here we are now. Enjoying our summer (finally) playing at the pool, basking in the sun, kids going to camp, and sleeping in. In a couple weeks it’s all going to change, but for now we are enjoying this relaxing time together.
Tuesday I lost her. But, to be honest, these last years of her life have been hard. Health problems, family issues, and a type of dementia/Alzheimer’s left her with a more difficult than normal end of life. She didn’t deserve that, but my Nana always was a go-getter and a fighter, and in her 78 years of life she truly lived, and boy did she love.
She loved like the best of them.
As a child I adored all of my grandparents. My Nana though, just had this way about her. As I got older I always wondered why she didn’t work with children more often. She would have been the best, BEST pre-school teacher, kindergarten teacher, heck- even middle or high school teacher because she could give “it” right back to them. She had a 6th sense when it came to kids. Adults too. But kids, she could make them feel like they were the only person in the world and they were the absolute, hands-down most special person ever alive.
That’s how she made me feel.
My Nana’s name is Lottie. She was born during the depression and grew up in Uniontown, Pennsylvania where she met my grandfather, and at a young age got pregnant and had my dad. Grandpa and Nana got married and lived with my Great-Grandparents, Grandma Evelyn and Pap. In the years they lived in Uniontown they had dozens of family within walking distance, which was good since my grandpa was in college working on his degree. I can’t imagine being 18 and having a newborn to raise, a new husband who was only able to be home on the weekends, and living in a new home with his family. I can imagine things weren’t “perfect”, but my Nana found a way to make it work.
From my understanding she worked in those early years as an assistant in a dental office. My dad has many fond memories of my Nana’s nurturing nature as well as his relationship with Pap- his grandpa. Although my dad was little, he has many lingering memories of feeling very loved and cared for by all of those around him. Something every child deserves.
Soon after my grandpa got his undergraduate degree, they moved as a little family of three to Pittsburgh where grandpa worked on his graduate degrees and Nana had a few more children. Uncle Tim was born and same with my Aunt Terry. (I believe Uncle Keith was later- but not I’m not sure…) Nana then stayed home with her kids and took care of her wonderful family. She was an incredibly beautiful woman (and still was to her dying day) and as my dad said on the phone today, “Everyone who knew her, loved her.”
And you know what was really cool about that? In turn, I am sure that she truly loved everyone she knew.
She was just so full of love.
They lived in Pittsburgh, then I believe Buffalo, and then by the time my mom and dad were together they moved to Houston, Texas where she stayed for the rest of her life. Nana spent her time raising her kids and then working for the Houston Astros in sales. I loved when she worked there! I have very fond memories of going to games and enjoying box seats since that was the part of sales that she worked in. She was a Houston Astros fan till the end. From what I remember she loved her time there. Finally Nana retired from working her last job for the county. Nana was a very social person, and interacting with people was her thing.
She really was a talker. If any of you reading this know my dad, then you know that when he gets going during a speech… well, stopping may take awhile. This came from Nana. I have a little bit of that gene too… which is why I sometimes think that I love teaching. I mean I have an audience 6 hours of the day who have NO choice but to listen to what I say?! Thanks Nana, those talking genes (and as well as the love of kids genes) is part of what made me the person and teacher that I am today.
Nana had some curve balls thrown at her in her later life. A divorce with my grandpa when she was around 55, a horrible accident not too much later than that, and in the past years some dementia and/or Alzheimer’s which was more or less undiagnosed until recently. Although during those years she may have been struggling, she was still loving. Telling her family not to be mad about the situations, and not to worry, and to just KEEP LOVING. She had a gentle heart and a gentle soul, but I can’t downplay her spirit. She swore with the best of them and wouldn’t take any sh..t. Although in these past years her family had been fighting with her about moving into a home so she could be better looked after- she fought… and won… to keep her freedom and independence. Now although that may not have been “best” for her, it was what she wanted, and she was strong enough to make that happen.
There is so much that I gained from having her love me, and me loving her back. She not only gave life to my amazing father, but taught him how to make my favorite smashed eggs, gave me “tickelies” on my back, and even took me on a cruise. She had a smile as big as her face and it always came straight from her heart. It, and her, will be so missed.
I feel so blessed to have been a part of her life. Nana, I love you, and I thank you for being you.
18 years ago (18 years ago!) I came to Minnesota for a little Um Ya Ya, and one of the bets I had with my Colorado friends was to see if, after swim practice (or whatever) I could get my hair so wet and so cold that it broke. Now, although I didn’t achieve that feat in those years past (but I remember a few times I got REAL close) I think, my dear Winter in Minnesota, that it would have easily happened this year.
But I would have gotten frostbite.
You see, Winter in Minnesota, I never planned on staying here. When leaving for college I never thought, for any reason, that 18 years later (geez- I need to stop putting that out there…) I would still be here. This is for many reasons, but honestly, one of the main reasons is because of YOU. I mean, what the heck? Ya ya, I’m a geography teacher and all so I understand the reasons why you are the way you are…. but honestly, it’s time to let up.
I am so done with you. Finished. My booggers have frozen for the last time. I don’t think I have ever “joked” so much and so seriously about moving to Hawaii. (If I could only convince Kyle of your nastiness then I would be on a more desirable track towards warmth, ocean, warmth and WARMTH!)
But no. He sees this as fun. Okay, the snow isn’t so bad, but does it ALWAYS have to come with negative this and negative that temperatures? SERIOUSLY!
I don’t think it’s just Disney’s marketing and music that has made Frozen our new favorite soundtrack. I think it’s our subconscious trying to find new ways to cope.
Argh.
Okay, so you are giving me snow days (a teachers luxury) cozy fires, and cuddles from our kids. There is Kyle’s joy in cross country skiing (I need to take a go, I know) and the simple beauty of the snow slowly making it’s way down to earth. There is wonder in you, I know that. But don’t divert me.
It’s only February and we are on our 3rd snow day.
February? Ug, we have months of this left.
Well friends, if you don’t see me around for awhile . . . Aloha.
ps. after writing this post we spent some time outside and had a little fun… okay… you’re not THAT bad. 😉
My dear, stubborn, funny, goofy, spunky daughter is 3 today. Yes, 3! Where has the time gone! It feels like yesterday that I got the call to come and meet you. Three years and you are more of a marvel every single day. We love you more, cherish you more and realize how insanely lucky we are more and more every single day. We are so thankful that you and Mama R found us!
3 is quite the age though. Yes, my dear girl, as your daddy recently said, “Three doesn’t get a cute moniker like “terrible twos” because three doesn’t start with an “F”. 3 is a tough age, and you, dear one, are right smack dab in the middle of it.
But, on the flip side, you are amazing. You are SO verbal, SO silly, SO much fun to be with (as long as you’re in the right mood.) You are up to so much right now… so here’s a little snapshot.
You love to be active. You are currently in gymnastics (a little higher of a class than your age suggests, because you are so “advanced” in your gymnastics abilities – so they say) You are also now in swim class, and running around happily and singing in music class. You and River keep us quite busy during the week!
You love Disney (yes, I think I had a strong part in that:) You know the name of almost every “princess” and especially love Ariel, Tiana, and Snow White. You are also in love with the music from Frozen- like every other child under 18 right now (and admittedly, this 35, almost 36-year-old too.) You also ask to go to Disney World and Hawaii almost every other day. Can’t blame you. I’ve never tried so truly hard to convince Daddy to move to Hawaii before. This winter sucks.
As for winter, you do NOT like the cold. You go outside with Daddy for no more than 5 minutes before you come in crying. Maybe you and I will be seasonal residents. Get out of this frozen tundra during these painful months.
You really like to pick out your clothes and love to take care of your babies. This whole girl thing is so new for me. Still trying to figure out if its society that makes you this way or your biology. Either way it’s pretty cute when you get super nurturing or you come out with your clothes matched all funny. With a sparkly skirt added on top. Love it.
You love cake. Needless to say you love the fact that it’s your birthday.
Your best friends (that I can gather) from school are Joey and Benjamin. You have some fun with lots of girls and boys at school. You are quite the social butterfly!
You suck at potty training. I thought we pretty much had it down. Ya, not so much. We have been using potty charts, a potty watch, and all sorts of other crazy tools. Not working so far, and I don’t think it’s because you can’t, it’s because you won’t.
You have a little OCD. You are pretty particular when you get a baby blanket. It needs to be spread perfect on the ground. Or like tonight, you had to have all of your blankets in your bed in the exact right spot. Pretty cute, and also, pretty weird.
Autumn, little miss 3-year-old, you put a smile on everyone you meet. We are so blessed to have you be a part of our lives! Happy *crazy* 3rd birthday baby girl!
Kyle noted after writing the last two blogs (which, yes, were quite depressing) I needed to end the year on a much lighter note. I figured, with the hustle and bustle of the holiday season that I would happily sit down and write one once school ended and Christmas has passed.
Little did I know that on Christmas eve I would be at the beginning stages of one of the nastiest colds/flu/pink (or maybe RED?) eye I have ever known about. Even the Dr. didn’t think it was pink eye but something much worse and sent me straight to the eye Dr. to make sure my eye wasn’t gunna burst or anything. But alas, it was the dreaded pink eye so the interaction with my dear friends and family that I miss so much all year long has been at a minimum.
So writing this blog has not been on the top of my list- but instead sleeping and laying in bed has. But today, on this last day of 2013- I am finally feeling human. With very little fluid coming out of my body I feel like I can go out into the world again which I am itching (ha! you catch that joke??!!) to do.
Other than this pink eye crud our family has had a joyous season. Starting in November, for Thanksgiving we went to Disney World with my parents, brother, sis-in-law and nephew. So much fun! I have not been there with them in probably 6 years. I think I found most joy when all three kids were having fun and making memories together.
Arrrr Matey!
One night, we adults even got to go have some fun by going to Victoria and Alberts. Wow. That place was amazing and yummy! A good way to celebrate the holiday time, as well as Colin’s 30th birthday, my 35th, mom’s 60th and mom and dad’s 40th anniversary.
An awesome night out.
Plus, the kids were left with a real, live, 70-year old Mary Poppins. Gotta love Disney.
All in all it was just a fun and exciting place for all of us to be together. It was non-stop action and adventure and (for the most part) happy kids. Which would then equal happy adults. Smiles all around!
After our fun filled time in Disney we came back to the real world gearing up for Christmas which was all too close. We had our annual Holiday party which included Santa and many, many dear friends and their children. I don’t know what the final count was but we had roughly 24 adults and 30 kids in our house. With the kids getting THAT much bigger every year I am beginning to think that we need to move to a bigger house to host this party.
What? You think my priority’s are out of line? I’m serious people.
Happy Holidays.
This year, being a teacher in Northfield has also altered my holiday rituals. I am SO thankful for all (and I mean ALL!) of the festivities and parties that were hosted by people from Northfield High School. I had at least 3 different things to attend because of my job! I feel so loved there. 🙂
After our grand Christmas morning where Santa came and presents were shared we hopped the plane to the state I miss so much. We have been playing (well, at least Kyle and the kids) in Colorado since the 26th (where I had a very funny looking eye patch on during the airplane ride since we weren’t sure what was going on with me at that point) and have celebrated Christmas 2 more times. Right now Kyle and the kids are at the Discovery Center in Fort Collins, and we have enjoyed time in Boulder with my family (and checking out the flood damage- Yikes!) and just tooling around our home state. It sure is a beautiful place.
As for the year ahead, I am looking forward to it. For many reasons, but partly because a goal I have for this next year is to be content with what I have. Last year I had 2 new years resolutions: run a marathon and finish my dissertation. Those, my friends, are done. Now, with things where they are, I feel like I should relish in my accomplishments but all the while be on the look out for new ones to attend to.
Or heck- maybe we’ll just do something crazy. If you know me people, I may pull something out of the woodwork you may never expect!
Today I got a sad call from a good friend who still works at my old school. A student I had just a short few years ago was killed in a car crash on her way to school this morning. Old co-workers and students are devastated, and upon hearing the news I was just sort of, well, stunned.
You see, as a teacher I have had what seems like 20 gazillion students. Some make big marks, and others not as much. But, EVERY one of my students makes some sort of mark. All the students I have ever taught make me who I am as a teacher and person- they have molded me, they have shaped me, and they have taught me how to be the teacher that I am today. I am so thankful for every student who has walked into my classroom. But this young lady, well, she was one of those who made a big mark. She made my job easy, and fun, and sometimes silly.
She was a very positive soul.
It is a sad day for sure. For those who knew and loved her, and for those people like myself who were just briefly touched by her presence. She made a positive impact on me as a teacher- by watching her grow and thrive in my classroom, and also seeing her grow as a friend to others and as human being. Although I didn’t know her “well”, I knew she would grow up to be a strong, independent, and smart woman. Watching her leave on the last day of her eighth grade year with some tears in her eyes I was excited for her future- for the impact she was going to make on the world.
But she won’t be able to make that impact. At least not in the future. The world isn’t better with her gone. But, it is times like this that I am reminded of how I am so appreciative of what she, and all my students give me every day.
They give me laughs. They give me knowledge of what is “in” today. They keep me young, while making me feel really old. They remind me of how my brain is past the “adolescent” age- and sometimes that’s good and sometimes I kinda miss those crazy feelings. They make me think on my feet. They make me be creative, and empathetic, and thoughtful. They remind me of hope. They show me a world that could be. A better one.
She, like all of my students make an impact. They have all made me a better person. And when tragedy like this happens, I am reminded how lucky I am to to get to spend a short time with these amazing people.
It’s been over 6 months, and I miss my pup every day.
Over 6 months ago he comforted me, All. The. Time. Over 6 months ago he slept in Inu’s “lap.” And played with him. And loved him. Over 6 months ago he gave joy to my children, and I probably watched him chase a stranger or two in front of my house.
And around 6 months ago my dog was murdered by an intruder looking for anything possible to keep his heroine addiction going.
I f’ing hate drugs.
I hate the fact that this person came in my house and killed my dog. And that he killed him because of something so addictive, yet so stupid. I found blood and feces on my wall. I found my dog dead with his eyes open.
And my children, my two small children, saw all of it.
They saw me freak out. They saw me run around the house screaming for our other dog to make sure he was okay. They saw that he wouldn’t come out of his crate for days. My two, very small children saw me wrought with grief and guilt thinking that this was MY fault. Somehow, that he had gotten out because I was careless. They heard me cry, they heard their mother- the person who they counted on to feed, bathe and love them, loose all sense because she didn’t understand what had just happened.
HOW could this happen.
And now we are waiting. Even with good, strong evidence that this person did what he did, we wait.
With him out on bail living 3 houses away.
No, we don’t see him often, but since this has happened the amount of “security” that has been upped in our house is more than I ever thought I would allow. I am not the type of person who does this. We are not.
But I miss my dog. And we feel violated.
I want this to be done. I don’t want to think about this any longer. But it keeps getting longer. And longer. And this person is on bail. Living 3 houses down.
You know those times in your life when you wish for things to be done and behind you? Ya, this is one of those times.
So… I missed yesterday. Doh! I’ll try and make it up today.
Sort of.
River wrote this one. He wanted me to write down all of his superpowers. So I did.
Wish I inherited (some of) these:
1. I can make a birthday cake in a second.
2 I have x-Ray vision.
3. And I can hear 20,000 miles away.
4. When I’m freezing I can never get cold.
5. I killed dinosaurs.
6. I’ll live forever.
For many years now we have been blessed to be a part of a wonderful group of friends who put on a “friends thanksgiving” every year a week or 2 before the actual thanksgiving.
It is a wonderful tradition. As a family who has no “distant” family close by, it is nice to have something so consistent, so “homey” that is actually close to home. It’s been at least 8 or 9 years now since we have been a part of this, and I am so thankful for it.
As a kid, I always kinda scoffed “tradition”. Granted, I loved most of it, but the things I thought of as “traditional” were not necessarily what I was excited about. It’s funny how that changes as you get older. Having gone to this “friends thanksgiving” since before River was born, and seeing the pictures of the years gone by, makes me appreciate the thing that I used to look down upon. Seeing my boy, and now my girl get older and grow with this consistent experience is something that truly gives me joy.
The longer I live, the more I understand.
Oooorrrr…… depending on the subject, it feel like less. But at least with this I feel like I’m going in the right direction.
but before I do I want to say that we started the day with “kid president” shows and many repeats of, “what does the fox say” and ended it with a trip to see Cinderella (the play) and some Thai food.
My Happily Ever After... 